This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
