I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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