I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
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I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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