community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
