stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
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