Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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