My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
