So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
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