Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
How does it feel to date your dad?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
