fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
