I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
