Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
