We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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