If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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