none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
