The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
