Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
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