I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize