I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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