I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
