life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
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they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
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I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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