I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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