Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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