it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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