Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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