i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
