The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize