I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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