It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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