shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
