How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
