You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
