maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
