Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
