i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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