tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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