when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
