Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
