Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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