Your face is a jimmy john
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
