So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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