Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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