the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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