Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize