The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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