I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
