After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We need to rekindle our bromance
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
