I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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