just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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