yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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