So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Found your dick twin last night
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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