i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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