We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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