She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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