My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
