The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
