so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize