So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
