If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
